Paramour
by Penelope sweet
Summary: When a priest is killed the brothers are forced to return to Boston, back to the one place Murphy had spent the last eight years trying to forget. Rated M for language  Continuation of and shepherds we shall be *COMPLETE*
1. The ties that bind us

Eight years had passed peacefully for the brothers in Ireland. Eight years with no guns, no enemy's and no fear. It had been nice for them not to have to look over their shoulders everyday waiting for something to come screaming from the dark ready to pounce on them when they least expected it.

In those eight years they had learned a lot. They had traded a life of crime for the simple life of sheep farmers on the beautiful planes and green pastures that there home had to offer. And yet, despite it all there was something missing from each and every day that passed. A long time had gone by since those painful nights that Conner listened as his brother cried himself to sleep. And yet not a day had gone by that Murphy hadn't thought about the angel he had left behind.

Every day without her was another day something deeply and intrinsically important was missing from his life and each day without her was a day he had to resign himself once again to the thought that maybe just maybe she had moved on. At least in some small way he hoped she had found happiness no matter what that meant for her.

They had been on the boat for only a few hours, the news of father McKinney's death had shaken them to the core enough to bring them back to the one place that Murphy never wanted to see again. He sat on the deck of the ship and watched the stars move silently in the sky as the salty sea air whipped around him sending a shiver down his spine. He took a drink from the bottle of tequila that dangled in his hand attempting to drown the pain in his stomach.

"I been looking all over fer ya." Conner shouted as he walked up to his brother, lost in thought. "Aye, Murphy." He called after getting no response from him. Murphy looked over as Conner took a seat next to him and grabbed the bottle from his hands taking a large drink before handing it back. "It's cold as tits out here what in the world are ye doing?" He asked lighting a cigarette and staring out into the dark deep ocean.

"Thinkin is all." Murphy sighed taking another large drink from the bottle.

"Aye, you need to let it go. It's been eight years Murphy she's probably moved on now. Gotten herself a husband, couple of kids that kind of thing." Conner spoke quickly before taking another large pull from his cigarette.

"yer probably right." Murphy muttered turning his gaze toward his brother.

"I'm always right." He smiled shoving his brother playfully. The chuckled lightly as the night sky passed over them.

_There's something magical about the night…_

Her words rang though his head as though she was standing next to him. For a moment he could smell the sweet shampoo in her hair, feel her hands around his waist even taste her lips on his. He wiped a tear from his eye before taking a drink from the slowly emptying bottle, anything to wash the memory away.

"Don't be so hard on yerself." Conner spoke as he tossed his cigarette into the water.

"What do you know?" Murphy muttered lowering his gaze.

"This again?" He turned his face to his brother, punching him in the arm gently. "How many times I gotta tell ya I know shit? I'm not the one getting silently shit faced and crying about a girl now am I?" He smirked at his brother.

"Shut it Conner, ya don't know how I feel, what I went through." Murphy barked standing to walk away. Conner followed close behind his brother in shock and disbelief.

"Don't tell me I don't know how ya feel I was the one to pick up the pieces for the last eight years or didja forget about that. Look at me!" He barked grabbing his brother's arm and pulling him around to face him. "Who held ya when ya cried yerself to sleep? Huh? Who took the gun outta yer mouth when you didn't have the strength to do it yerself? I brought you back from the dead Murphy I went through it with ya so don't tell me I don't know how ya feel." Murphy sighed as his brother screamed at him gently. "Ya loved her, more than ya loved yerself I'm sure but ya did the right thing and you can't keep bringing up the ghost of a memory that nearly killed ya." Conner walked away from him quickly making his way back to their bunk and throwing himself down on the little cot that he called his.

Murphy stumbled into the room and laid himself down gently. The sound of Conner snoring gently filled the dark dank room as he closed his eyes and tried as hard as he could to place her as far from his memory possible. But unfortunately as with so many things Murphy was not so lucky. He rolled over onto his side and cried gently as the memory of her warm body next to him filled his senses with the pleasure of what once was and would never be again.

The boat docked as the sun rose and the passengers poured out of the hull and onto the welcoming Boston streets. The brothers, followed by their new recruit made their way out of the crowds and into the streets. It didn't take long for the team to make their first hit. A group of drug pushers that hopefully had connections to the man that could give the boys what they wanted, the reason they had come back in the first place. The news of their return spread through Boston's streets setting anyone and everyone on edge. No one had forgotten what the boys had done just eight years ago, a murder spree that set anyone even considering a life of crime edge.

"So where we goin? Who we doin now? Com on guys give me something I'm dying here." Romeo spoke excitedly as he followed just behind the brothers.

"Aye, Calm yerself man. One thing at a time aright." Conner smiled slapping him gently on the side of the face.

"All right, ok I can dig that." He smiled looking around at the buildings that held a comfort that only came with a place called home. The walked quietly down the bustling street with one place in mind, the only place the brothers ever really felt safe. The silence didn't last long, as it usually was with Romeo and not five minutes had passed before he was at it again. "Hey so I was thinking there's this guy on the south side right, a real son of a.."

"ROMEO!" The boys shouted in unison interrupting the babbling Mexican.

"Hey ok, I'm sorry. Just trying to help. We cool?" He asked stopping his stride. Murphy turned around and took Romeo by the side of the head leading him forward gently.

"Were good man really, just shut the fuck up." He laughed letting go of their new friend and turning onto the all too familiar side street that headed to the one place they wanted to be more than anything. Their home away from home, they laughed and smacked each other gently as the beautiful sign that read McGinty's came into view.

"BOYS!" Doc shouted as he opened the door. Taking each one of them into his arms lovingly they laughed happily at the welcome feeling of familiarity that came with being in the arms of the father figure they had loved so dearly. "How the hell are ya lads?" He chuckled happily as they looked around the bar that hadn't changed at all since they left. "The lord told me you'd be comin." He smiled happily as the boys he so dearly missed stood in front of him. "He told me, Doc, they'll be comin and yer to have everything r.." He stuttered. "Anyway it's all set." He smiled showing them the bar.

Romeo cleared his throat loudly behind them. "Oh, this is our Mexican." Murphy smiled pointing doc toward the new face. He took his hand and shook it nervously.

"How are ya lad?" He smiled. "They c c call me, FUCK! ASS!" He screamed leaning his head to the side so as not to shout in the poor lads face. Romeo smiled and thought for a moment.

"Nice to meet ya fuck ass I'm Romeo." He chuckled moving past him and toward the brothers. Doc showed them to the room they would be staying in happily proclaiming.

"Dis used ta be a speak easy. No one knows its up here. You'll be safe." He smiled, quite pleased with himself. The boys spent the rest of the night in a drunken stupor happily laughing the night away. It was good to be home and for the first time in eight years Murphy finally felt at peace. The first night in many nights had passed without a thought of the girl the stole his heart. He was home, and as always home was the one place that could bring you a sense of peace that nowhere else in the world could even hold a torch to.


	2. Conversations worth having

Murphy woke with a splitting headache somehow splayed out on the floor of the dusty old room. "Oh Christ." He moaned gripping at the sides of his head. It had been a long time since he had a good drink and even longer since he had bitten in the ass by the ever unwelcome hangover that came with it. He looked around and stifled a laugh as he saw his brother lay out on top of the pool table, Romeo drooling and snoring silently with his head rested on the blonde's chest.

Murphy stood carefully and quietly tip toeing out of the room and starting his hunt for a bottle of aspirin. He walked down into the bar and searched behind the rows of various colored bottles for anything to dull the pain but as luck would have it, Doc had left no such thing out. "Shit." He muttered rubbing at his temples. Grabbing a glass from behind the bar he turned to pour himself a glass of water when he heard the door of the bar open quietly.

He turned to greet who he thought was doc seeing instead a long wave of chestnut hair pass through the doorway. "Oh fuck!" He muttered dropping down to his knees and hiding behind the bar.

"Go upstairs baby." He heard her whisper, the sound of footsteps climbing the squeaky staircase soon after. His heart fluttered and his eyes dropped to the floor as reality had smacked him dead in the chest. She had moved on and not only that she had no idea that the once love of her life was hiding behind the bar just a few feet from where she stood.

Murphy peeked out behind the edge of the bar checking to see if it was safe for him to move. She placed her purse on the edge of the bar and smiled happily as she flipped through a small stack of letters in her hand. Taking his chance he crawled around the corner and out of sight before breaking into a dead run back to the safety of the room. She looked up as she heard the sound of footsteps moving up the stairs for a second time. As the bar went silent she shrugged and went back to sifting through her bills.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Murphy pounded his fists into the door behind him as he thought about the colossal fuck up that almost just happened. They couldn't stay here, he couldn't be here, the only thoughts that ran through his head as he scrambled to get his things.

"The fuck is this?" Conner moaned as he woke from his sleep. "Oh jesus!" He shouted slapping Romeo in the head and shoving him off of the pool table.

"What the fuck!" He shouted as he hit the floor with a loud thud.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Murphy whispered as he threw his clothes into his large black duffel.

"What in the hell are ya doin?" Conner asked sitting up on the table. 'Murphy!" He shouted after getting no response.

"I have to go, I cant be here." He turned to his brother with a wild look in his eyes.

"What's gotten into ya?" He asked worried.

"Shes here." Murphy nearly screamed. A moment of silence passed as Romeo looked back and fourth between the brothers.

"Who's here? What's goin on? Are we in trouble or some shit because.."

"ROMEO!" The boys shouted cutting him off.

"No shit she's really here?" Conner asked with a smile on his face.

"Ya she's really here, she almost saw me." Murphy was beginning to panic. "I have to get out of here." He looked around the room to make sure he had everything.

"So, where in "Here" is she?" Conner asked with a sly look on his face. Murphy moved over to his brother slapping him hard upside the head.

"Don't you fucking think about it." He shouted.

"I already thought about it brother, now im gonna do it."

"Don't you FUCKING DARE!" Murphy shouted grabbing for Conner as he bolted out the door and down the stairs.

Conner rounded the corner and scanned the room quickly, his face full of excitement. "LASS!" He screamed as he saw her. Startled she dropped her mail and looked over to the sound of the screaming voice. Before her stood the most beautiful sight she had ever seen, a blond haired saint with his arms out stretched calling to her.

"OH MY GOD CONNER!" She screamed happily running to him and leaping into is arms. He spun her around as she squeezed him tightly. "YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD!" She shouted as he placed her on her feet. He grabbed her face and planted a giant kiss on her lips pulling her into another hug.

"Ill be honest im a bit surprised." Conner smiled at her as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Whys that?" She grinned happily.

"Well as it is I thought you'd never want to see me again." Murphy stood just on the other side of the wall, Romeo pressed behind him listening to their conversation.

"Conner, of course I'm happy to see you. You were my best friend." She smiled as she pulled away from him.

"Well ya but," He rubbed the back of his neck gently. "After dat whole, well…" he paused not sure if he should re open an old wound. To his surprise she smiled and nodded.

"Murphy." She stated plainly.

"Aye." He laughed nervously.

"Conner, you should know me better than that." She raised her eyebrow as she stood on her tiptoes to run her hand through his hair quickly. "I would never blame you for something someone else did. I love you to pieces, always have." She smiled pulling him into another long deep hug.

"Speaking of that rat bastard would you mind telling him to come out and face me himself." She barked turning her gaze to the wall.

"Oh lass, he's not here. Its jus me." He smiled slyly.

"Conner." She stated gazing into his eyes. "You're a lovely man but you're a terrible liar." She smiled slapping him gently on the side of the face. He lowered his eyes and sighed. Conner walked back toward the wall that separated him from his brother. He grabbed Romeo by the arm and led him back up the stairs.

"Wait man, I wanna hear this." He protested as Conner tugged on his arm. Conner just shook his head and dragged Romeo up the stairs against his will. Alice stood near the bar with her hands on the hips waiting for her saint to come out from hiding.

"Murphy, I know your there." She spoke with anger in her voice. "Come out here." She barked.

"No." His weak voice came out from behind the wall.

'And why not?" She sighed rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her stomach. There was another long silence before Murphy could choke back the tears enough to speak.

"After what I did to you, I don't deserve to look at ya." He muttered. She sighed and sat down at the bar.

"Either way, we're having this conversation. So I suppose well just have it like this then." She spoke softly to the wall.

"Aye." The wall spoke back.


	3. Strong enough

There was a long silence between Alice and her wall. She didn't know where to begin and Murphy refused to speak. The last time they talked he shattered her life, he wouldn't risk that again and no apology could make right the pain that he had caused. "Why are you back?" She asked him plainly.

"I can't tell ya." He muttered after long while.

"Murphy that's bullshit." She sighed laying her arms out in front of her. She played with her fingers gently as she waited to see if he would off up an explanation. Anything would do at this point.

"I never meant to hurt you." He cried to her. He had nothing else to say to her and nothing that would come closer to the truth. She sighed deeply and looked down at her freshly painted nails.

"Did you ever love me?" She asked, the familiar burn of tears forming behind her eyes.

"A course I loved you!" he half screamed back. "I risked my life to protect ya." She wiped the tears from her eyes as she listened to him plead with her through the thick plaster wall. "I fell in love with ya the day I came to rescue ya from Derrick. When I saw what he did to ya..." She heard him sniff loudly as she lowered her head. "Lord, all I wanted to do was protect ya, treat ya right and the like."

"Then WHY Murphy? She cried dropping her head into her fists, letting the tears take over. He stood quickly and walked out from behind the wall. He couldn't stand to hear her cry, couldn't stand to hear the hurt in her voice. Sweetly and clearly he spoke from behind her.

"Because I didn't know how else to keep you safe." She turned to face him, the pain in her eyes turned to rage as she stood from her seat and looked into those deep blue eyes for the first time in eight years. She smacked him as hard as she could across the face, leaving a nice red mark and what she hoped would turn into a bruise. After all he deserved that much.

"That's for thinking like an asshole." She screamed. He half smiled as he turned his head back to face her.

"Aye, I deserved that." He nodded. Before he could say anything he felt the hard sting of her hand once again.

"And that was for breaking my heart in the worst possible way you could." She growled as he turned his face to the ground.

"Aye, that too." He looked back up at her shyly. "Would ya like to hit me again?" He asked her with a grin. She cocked her arm back and slapped him again, harder than she had ever hit another person. "Jesus woman, I get that I had this comin but do ya have to hit so hard?" He asked rubbing at his jaw.

"That was for smiling you bastard." She shouted. Murphy couldn't help it as he started to chuckle. He'd never seen her mad before, it was actually kind of cute in a way. He stopped when he saw the look in her eyes.

"Ok, I'm sorry I didn't mean ta laugh." He apologized offering her his cheek. She shook her head and crossed her arms. Before he had a chance to relax she wound up once more this time slapping him hard on the other side. "For laughing?" She smirked a little before scrambling to hide her smile.

"It wasn't funny."

"No, no. It wasn't funny." He apologized, rubbing his jaw once more. He sighed and looked into her eyes as he spoke. "What do I have ta do ta make this right?" He asked softly.

"Murphy," She turned away from him. "Eight years you were gone. No word of where you went or even why. I waited for you to come back, to tell me you made a mistake. You could have just left, hell you could have done a million other things to let me go that would have been easier than what you did." She turned back to him, tears in her eyes.

"You threw me off of a fucking cliff, Missing you damn near killed me and it took me years, YEARS Murphy to get over you and even then it never quite happened." She sighed, trying her best to pull back the tears in her eyes.

"Why didn't you just tell me who you were?" She screamed, over taken with rage at his lies. She pushed him back into the bar. "Why didn't you just tell me about the saints?" She screamed. Murphy looked at her shocked and more than a little confused.

"What?" he muttered. "How did you…"

"You didn't think I would figure it out? Murphy I'm not retarded." She half shouted walking away from him. A wave of relief came rushing at him, she knew. He didn't have to lie anymore the one person he cared about more than anything in the world knew who he was. And then it hit him, his stomach rushed to the floor. It was too little too late. He leaned against the bar and ran his hand through his hair before dropping to his knees in front of her.

"There is nothing I can say or do to make what I did right, and there is nothing I can say to convince you that I did what I did with the best of intentions I swear." He cried into her skirt as he made his best attempt to explain himself. "There was never a day I didn't think about ya, never a day I didn't wish like hell that I could go back and just tell you the truth." He looked up toward her face, stopping at her wrist to take in the sight of the thick aged white scar. He grabbed her hand and lifted it as he stood. "Is this what I did to ya?" He asked her running a finger over her scar. She nodded and pulled her hand away from him quickly. Without thinking and without caring for that matter he threw his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry." He sobbed into her hair as he did what he longed to do for so many years. He held her close and closed his eyes as she hesitantly and softly lifted her arms to return his hug. There were no words to express how he felt in this moment. Like a man starving for air given the chance to breathe once again all he wanted was to make this moment last as long as he could before it had to come to an end.

"Murphy I just wanted you to tell me the truth." She cried as she pulled him tighter to her. "I just wanted to be a part of your life even the parts you don't like so much." He tangled his fingers in her hair as he pulled her away and looked deep into her eyes. He smiled down at her as she bit her lip and ran her hand down the side of his face. Resting his forehead on hers he held her face still, close to him never wanting her to move. Not even an inch.

"I love you." He whispered hoping that it was the right thing to say. Even if it wasn't it was the truth and he needed to say it. After a lot of thought Alice softly wrapped her hands around the back of his neck and kissed him gently on the lips. A moment passed and there kisses became frantic, passionate before she pulled away and gripped him in a tight embrace and cried into his shoulder.

"Don't you ever fucking do that again!" She screamed as she gripped at his shirt in an attempt to pull him closer. Smiling with relief, his heart pounded loudly in his chest as he kissed her again deeply, passionately reveling in the feel of her hands as they tugged at his hair gently. They stayed in there embrace for an eternity before he could work up the courage to speak.

"Am I forgiven?" He asked weakly.

"No." She whispered running her hands over the back of his neck as she held him.

"What does this mean then?" he asked closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of her fingertips as they danced on his skin. She nuzzled into his neck and kissed it gently before resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'll never forgive you for what you did," she spoke softly. "But I don't think I have the strength to let you go again." She whispered as a tear fell from her eye.

"Aye." He whispered gripping her tightly. The sound of footsteps brought them back to reality. Murphy let her go gently, planting a kiss softly on the tip of her nose as he pulled away. She smiled at him sweetly and wiped the tears from her eyes before responding to the all too familiar tug at her skirt.

She reached down and lifted the little boy into her arms. "Hey baby." She smiled as she kissed his cheek gently. Murphy looked at the little boy and back to her as she took a picture from his hand and smiled. "For me?" She asked surprised. He nodded and threw his arms around her neck. She rocked him back and forth slowly as she placed the picture down on the bar next to Murphy.

"Who's this little guy?" he asked with a smile. Alice turned to the child.

"It's ok bear, tell him your name." She smiled. The boy turned to Murphy and smiled.

"I'm Declan." Murphy smiled at the little boy unknowingly as he took his hand and shook it gently.

"Is nice to meet ya Declan, My name's Murphy." He let go of the boys hand and his heart jumped clear out of his chest and through the roof as Murphy got his first good look at Declan's deep blue eyes.


	4. Do you know who I am

Murphy stared at the smiling boy unable to pull himself away, the most beautiful child he had ever seen in his life. He has his mothers smile and Murphy's eyes that hid under shining messy locks of chestnut hair.

"How old are ye Declan?" He asked, tears welling up in his eyes. Declan looked up at his mother as she nodded. He turned back to Murphy and chimed.

"I'm goanna be eight in November." Murphy chuckled happily as he wiped the soft stream of tears from his cheek.

"Are ye really?" He smiled and leaned back against the bar, never loosing eye contact with the boy.

"This is a really special day for you bear." Alice smiled as she placed her son on his feet. Declan looked up at her, his eyes grew wide as he bounced from foot to foot.

"Really!" He shouted. "Why, why why..."

"Calm down bear." She laughed placing her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to keep him from jumping clear through the roof. She knelt down to meet his face and ran her hand over his head. "Today you get to meet someone very special, can you guess who it is?" She smiled. The boy thought for a moment before his eyes lit up.

"Batman?" He shouted excitedly bouncing off of his feet. Alice laughed loudly and shook her head.

"No bear, someone better."

"Who?" He nearly screamed. Alice looked to Murphy and smiled sweetly before turning back to the hyper boy in front of her. "Well how would you like it if he told you himself?" She asked.

"OK!" He screamed happily.

"Inside voice baby." She growled playfully as she stood and turned to Murphy. He took a deep breath and rubbed at the back of his neck before getting on his knees and looking into Declan's beautiful eyes.

"Well," His voice caught in his throat as he tried to speak. He cleared it and tried again. "I know ye don't know who I am and I don't know how ta say this but um…" Murphy lost his words as the boy smiled at him expectedly. He was finding it hard to breath; his heart was pounding clear through his chest and the one time he needed them the most the words just wouldn't come. Declan touched his arm gently and smiled.

"Mom always says if you get nervous, just close your eyes and take a deep breath." Murphy laughed and nodded.

"Ok, ill try that then, thank ya." He smiled. He closed his eyes and lowered his head.

"Are you still nervous?" Declan asked gently. Murphy nodded.

"Aye." He laughed.

"I like how you talk." Declan smiled.

"Thank ya, I like how ya talk too." Murphy giggled opening his eyes to look at the boy. He took a deep breath and tried once more to introduce himself. "Declan, it's very nice to meet ya today do you know why?" The boy shook his head and shifted his feet. "It's nice to meet ya because I'm…" He paused and took a deep breath in hopes of swallowing the butterfly's that made it so hard for him to speak. "Because I'm yer dad." He smiled, tears flowing out of him softly. Declan smiled as wide as a boy could smile and looked to his mom. Alice nodded and stepped back as he threw his arms around Murphy's neck and squeezed him tightly.

Murphy wrapped his arms around his son and ran his hand over his head as he stood, lifting the boy with him. He rocked him back and forth and kissed the side of his head. Never in his life had Murphy felt the kind of joy he felt at this moment, like something had been missing from him his whole life and until now he didn't even realize it. Alice cried gently as she watched Murphy and Declan connecting for the first time.

"What's this now?" Conner spoke as he and Romeo walked around the bar to Murphy. He looked to the boy who was resting his head on Murphy's shoulder. "Well look what we have ere." He smiled at the boy. "Hello there, what's your name then?" He asked the boy who was leaning up to face his uncle.

"I'm Declan, and this is my dad." He said proudly and smiled as big as he could. Alice and Murphy chuckled lightly as Conner's eyes widened.

"Is he now?" He asked surprised, looking to Murphy.

"Ya!". He said excitedly. "How come you talk just like him?" He asked as he picked at his nose. Alice laughed loudly and pulled his finger away.

"Well, I talk like em because im his brother, so I guess that makes me your uncle." Conner smiled a little baffled and amazed at the boy. He hadn't expected to come back to see Murphy alive let alone with a kid. "My names Conner." He smiled offering is hand to the boy. Declan shook his hand roughly and giggled.

"Hi uncle Conner."

"Uncle Conner? I think I like that." He smiled as the boy giggled loudly. "WELL!" Conner shouted happily. "I think this deserves a celebration."

"You'll find any excuse to get drunk won't you." Alice chuckled as she leaned her head on Murphy's gently.

"Aye." He laughed "Come on lass you should know me by now." He said smugly. "So dear brother of mine, how's it feel to be a da?" He asked slapping Murphy on the arm gently. Murphy looked to his son and smiled before placing him on his feet gently.

"I like it." He smiled. And he did, he had been given something special something he didn't even know he had. Conner looked at the boy and smirked.

"I wonder if it's ticklish." He grinned as he bent down slowly.

"No." Declan laughed squirming to protect his sides.

"I think he is." Murphy piped in as his brother bent down slowly.

"NO IM NOT!" Declan laughed loudly as he screamed. Conner poked at his sides causing the boy to squirm and giggle. "No!" He screamed as Conner began chasing him around the bar.

"NO NO NO NO!" The boy shrieked Conner laughing loudly behind him. Murphy Reached over and pulled Alice into his chest as they watched The boys chasing each other around happily. He lifted her chin to his face gently planting a soft sweet kiss on her lips before resting his forehead on hers.

"I love you." He whispered stroking her hair gently.

"I missed you." She replied before kissing him softly once more.

"EWWWW!" Declan screamed stopping in front of his parents and wrinkling his nose. Murphy laughed as his brother took advantage of the opportunity and tackled Declan to the ground thoroughly and happily attacking his sides.


	5. Duct tape ceremony

Murphy was thoroughly enjoying the title of fatherhood and all the surprises it had brought him. Getting to know his son, reconnecting with Alice, there wasn't much more that the Irishman could have asked for and nothing he wouldn't give up, nothing he wouldn't do to keep his little family safe. That's why as the three sat at a bar and poured over there haphazard plan to take out Yakevetta's street thugs Murphy's thoughts were miles away.

He twirled a lighter over in his fingers nodding when he felt it was appropriate even thought he was doing anything but paying attention to Romeo and his brother as the made there best attempt to make a point by point plan of the night.

"…stick it out right, keep dem comfortable,"

"Hey wait what about George over there?" Romeo asked pointing to the man who was struggling against the chair they had tied him to not to long before.

"The fuck do you mean what about George? Don't you fucking worry about him." Conner barked as he butted his cigarette out. He looked over to his brother who was still miles away. "Eh Murph, what you say after we take care a dis shit we go back and have a good ol fashioned gang bang with dat pretty lass of yours?" Conner eyed his brother as he absent mindedly nodded. He sighed and reached over smacking his brother in the back of the head. "Where the fuck is yer head?" He shouted quietly as Murphy rubbed at the back of his neck.

"The fuck was that fer?" He asked confused.

"yer not here man, ave you been payin attention to anything iv fucking said?" Conner barked.

"Sorry Conner, I got a lot a shit on my mind." He shook his head and shoved the lighter in his pocket.

"Aright, look we got a few hours before this goes down. Go upstairs, see yer girl, kiss yer boy. Get yer fucking head straight then meet us back here. Do ye get me; get yer fucking head straight I need you here." Conner said sternly. Murphy nodded and patted his brother on the back as he stood from his seat and walked around the corner and up the small set of stairs to the apartment above the bar.

He opened the door slowly and squeezed his way into the apartment. The sound of Alice watching T.V quietly in the living room filled the house. He smiled at her quickly before making his way toward the bedrooms in the back. He walked into Declan's room, his boy sleeping soundly under the glow of the pale moonlight. He smiled sweetly walking over to him and pulling the covers around him before kissing him gently on the forehead. He sat down on a chair next to his bed and looked over his boy. It used to be so easy to be a saint, he never questioned who he was or why he was doing what he did but now things were different. His love for Alice had complicated things originally but now there was an even bigger complication to worry about.

He placed his head in his hands and sighed deeply hoping the answers would come to him, hoping like hell that his crises of faith would solve itself or simply disappear.

"Goodnight bear." He whispered as he left the room shutting the door quietly behind him. He walked out into the living room and smiled when he saw her stretched out on the couch smiling up at him. She reached her arms out inviting him over to her as he smirked lightly. He climbed over the arm of the couch and laid on top of her, her arms resting gently on the back of his neck as he kissed her deeply.

"What's the matter?" She whispered running her hand gently down the side of his face. He kissed her palm softly before kissing her lips once again.

"Conner says I'm distracted." He chuckled as she rested her hands around his waist.

"Are you?" She smiled kissing the tip of his nose softly. He sighed deeply as he lifted himself up and sat next to her.

"Maybe a little." He looked into her eyes as she smiled over to him. "I used to know what I was, ye know." He started nervously. He wasn't sure exactly what it was he wanted to say he just knew he needed to say it. "It used ta be easy ta go out there guns blazing, now I can't even pay attention long enough to get through the planning." He sighed and looked over to her smiling face. She reached over and ran her fingers through his hair gently before stopping to rub the back of his neck.

"Would it be easier if Declan and I weren't in the picture?" She asked with a worried tone. He chuckled lightly before pulling her into a quick sweet kiss.

"It would be, but I wouldn't want it that way." He smiled at her. "I spent the last eight years thinking about all the things I would ave done different had I known missing you would be worse than any hell I could be sent to." He laid his head on her chest and listened to the soft sound of her heartbeat as she stroked his hair gently. He looked up to her beautiful smile and ran his hand gently down the side of her face. "I just don't know if I can be a father and a saint is all." He whispered gently as he laid his head back on her chest.

"You know," She sighed as her fingers danced around the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of her breath as she spoke softly. "No one's making you do either Murphy. You can choose whatever it is you want and Declan and I will be here no matter what you decide." He smiled and lifted himself up to kiss her gently.

"How is it that yer so understanding about all this?" He smiled as he pulled away from her.

"I just want you to be happy baby." He blushed lightly as he kissed her soft lips once again. He wasn't used to that word but it was nice to hear her say it.

"What if I asked ya to leave with me?" He looked at her slyly. She giggled and pressed her forehead to his.

"Leave? Just like that, the three of us." She smiled playfully.

"No just me and yew, Declan's old enough to fend for himself now aint he." He chuckled as Alice slapped him in the arm playfully. "Of course the three of us, we could go anywhere." He kissed her softly. She sighed as he pulled away from her.

"I don't know Murphy, what about your brother?"

"Well," He started as he sat up slowly. "After all this is done we might have to leave again, would ya come with us?" he asked her seriously.

"Murphy, I can't believe you think you have to ask something like that." He lowered his eyes and braced himself for rejection. "Of course we would come with you." She chuckled grabbing his face and kissing him sweetly. He ran his hand over her hair gently and smiled down at her.

"I'll be right back." He whispered as he stood from the couch and walked out into what was now there bedroom. He shuffled through his black duffle for a moment before finding the little black box he was looking for, a gift he had meant to give her long ago. He walked back out into the living room and took Alice by the hand. Placing a sweet soft kiss on her cheek he led her out of the apartment and down into the bar where Conner and Romeo sat deliberating over what to do with Gorgeous George.

"Who's this?" She asked as she glanced at the hairy fat man that sat wrapped in duct tape near the bar.

"This is George, he's our new friend." Conner chuckled lightly.

"Hi George." She waved.

"Hey sweetheart." He tilted his head to the side gently and sighed. "Hey, you boys wouldn't mind undoin these so I could go to the bathroom maybe would ya?" He asked desperately.

"In a minute." Murphy snapped at him as he stopped Alice in front of the bar. "Ok, I kind of ave to say something so if ya don't mind givin me a moment." Conner nodded to his brother and sat up, Romeo followed along as they turned toward the dark haired saint. "Thanks. Listen I know iv been distant and all lately, but things got kind of complicated when we got here." Everyone chuckled, except George who was still futile trying to undo the tape around his hands. Murphy turned to Alice and smiled.

"When I got on dat boat, I never thought I would come back to find ya still here and well. I thought you woulda moved on ya know. But instead I come back ta find ya waiting and somehow we managed to get past all dat ugly crap." He stroked her face gently with his tattooed hand. "not only did I get ya back, I found out I was a father and," He wiped his eyes and smiled trying to fight back his tears. "And der's nothing more in this world I want then to take ya both somewhere far away and just be a normal family." She smiled and kissed his palm gently before he reached into his pocket. "Unfortunately I got a few things ta do before we can run off ya know. " He chuckled as he pulled out the small box and kept his hidden in his palm.

His heart pounded against his chest as he thought about what he was about to do. Murphy kissed her gently before dropping to his knee and looking up at the smiling beauty. "I brought ya down here because I wanted everyone ta be here when I did what I shoulda done in the first place." Alice gasped as he showed her the little black box and smiled nervously. "Ya loved me before ya knew I was a saint, and ya let me back in even after what I did to ya. You gave me a son and I didn't even know it and now I cant think of anything in dis world I want more dan you." He opened the box and showed her the small silver ring adorned with a simple yet beautiful clear diamond. Tears fell softly from her eyes as he looked up at her hopefully.

"Alice, I love ya and yer all I want in this world. Will ya marry me?" He asked her nervously. She gasped down at him and smiled, pulling his face to hers and kissing him excitedly.

"There is no reason in the world that I should marry you Murphy," She chuckled as she kissed him again. "But there's nothing in the world that will make me say no." She said happily.

"Dat's a yes?" He asked excitedly.

"Yes of course." He stood quickly and took her into his arms spinning her gently as he kissed her. Conner and Romeo applauded as he slid the ring gently on her finger and raised his arms in a victory salute. Alice laughed happily and wrapped her arms around his middle as Conner reached behind the bar and poured everyone a congratulatory shot, even George.

"Welcome to the family lass!" Conner smiled as he hugged her gently.

"Ya man congratulations." Romeo smiled slapping his arm and pulling Alice in for a quick hug. The group turned around as the sound of soft sobbing came from behind them.

"That's beautiful man." George cried as he sat there tied to a chair in duct tape wearing nothing but his hot pink speedos.


	6. The first of many

It didn't take long for the brothers to finish their latest job, one of the easiest they had to date. Serve drinks, check. Keep George quite, check. Take out Yakevetta's street thugs, check. George had just gone on his way and the boys were done for the night, or so they thought. A feeling of safety had washed over the room and no sooner than it had come was it washed away. For the second time in one single night the sound of gunshots rang through the bar and bounced off of the walls as two new faces invaded there sanctuary.

A red headed woman stormed into the bar guns blazing and aimed at a smaller mousy looking man near the exit. He cried out as a well-aimed bullet tore through his shoulder knocking the gun from his hand. He took off through the back as the brothers pulled their gun's and aimed them at the girl.

"DROP YOUR FUCKING WEAPON!" They shouted as the woman raised her hands over her head.

"PUT IT DOWN!" Murphy screamed pulling the hammer back, ready to fire.

"Relax." She called as she placed the gun down gently on the bar.

"Who da fuck are you?" Conner called from behind two well-aimed pistols.

"My name is Unis bloom, and I'm your new guardian angel." She spoke in a thick sultry southern accent. "The torch was passed to me by a mutual friend." She smiled walking toward them slowly.

"A mutual friend? By the name of fucking who?" Murphy barked never taking his gun off of her.

"Paul maxamillian fucking smecker." The boys let their guard drop as she took off her coat and explained who she was. If she knew Smecker then there was no reason not to trust her, at least not yet anyway.

She guided them through a cleanup routine that was sure to throw even the strongest bloodhound off their scent and once again the boys were home free. Its not that they couldn't take care of there own business but having a helping hand was always a welcome thing.

It wasn't that Murphy was particularly distracted over the next few days it was just that the events that took place between that night and what was to come was enough to send even the strongest man over the edge of sanity and reason.

He wanted to take Declan and Alice as far away from here as he could and it hurt him that he couldn't just run away from it all. But underneath all of that, below the fear and the want came a feeling that could only be described as hunger. A hunger for justice, for truth and for a safer world. Once it has started as a need to clean the streets of the scum that wondered it in the night but now when he looked into the eyes of whatever monster they gunned down all he could see was the smiling face of his little boy, his angel.

He ran his hands over his face as Romeo drove them back toward McGinty's and a world of peace even if it was only for a few moments at a time. Conner and Romeo carried on about their ideas for what would come next but Murphy didn't feel much like talking. Thankfully however the others understood that and there was no pressure on the saint as he chewed at the tip of his thumb and watched the streetlights fly by overhead. Through the empty streets they passed the broken and desolate building's they drove past many a homeless man, women left with no other choice but to turn to the cold hard streets for their daily bread and the residents of Boston walking quickly and quietly to their beds. The smell of the cold Boston air invaded his senses and washed his spirit clean as they traveled further and further away from the very people he worked for. They called him there saint but really he was a humble servant to the masses whose voice had lost them long ago.

He prayed for every soul they passed as Romeo rounded the corner and parked his very brightly colored car just outside the entrance to the bar. Without saying a word Murphy took off into the bar and up the stairs toward a smiling Alice waiting to greet him with open arms.

He took her face in his hands and kissed her hungrily. Most days he knew exactly what he was and it wasn't hard for him to be a saint if it meant that his family was safe. But right now he didn't want to be a saint. He breathed her in deeply as he wrapped his arms around her middle and lifted her into his embrace, his lips never leaving hers not even for the slightest moment.

He carried her toward the couch and laid her down gently as his kisses covered every inch of her bare skin. His heart raced with every touch, his body yearned for her with every breath as she ran her fingers under his shirt and lifted it off of him gently. She watched curiously as his fingers fumbled with the buttons on her white silk blouse and at one time the blood around his fingernails would have bothered her but like most things she had grown used to it.

She smiled gently as he finally worked it off of her just before leaning into her, devouring her with his wanting, passionate kiss and pressing his well-defined body into her quivering frame. There were no words spoken between them as his lips explored her body there was no need for them in moments best left unspoken.

The night was passed in a flurry of tongues and sweet sighs, poor Conner and Romeo left alone to fend for themselves downstairs as Murphy made love to his beautiful fiancé just beyond the barriers of the mere inches of wood between them.

The night came to a close as Murphy lay next to his glistening princess on the couch. He lit a cigarette and took a large drag just before she stole it from between his lips and inhaled the sweet sickly aroma deeply. He rested his head on his tattooed hand as the other gently wiped away the few strands of hair that had stuck themselves to her brow. She smiled up at him as he took his cigarette back from her and kissed her soft pink lips gently. He would never get used to the taste of smoke on her breath, thankfully she rarely smoked.

"So what was that all about?" She smiled as she ran her finger playfully down his glistening chest. He smirked as he took another large drag from his cigarette.

"Do I need a reason to ravish the woman I'm soon to marry?" He winked at her slightly sending a flurry of butterfly's fluttering through her stomach. She had spent a long time thinking about what was going to happen for them but no matter how many times she turned the words over in her head, she never quite got used to them. Declan on the other hand had been a nonstop fountain of words about it since Murphy had decided to tell him. It didn't matter what they were doing, at any moment he came gushing out with ideas and plans for his mom's wedding. Alice had never seen her boy more excited about anything and there was nothing she could want more than to see her baby smile.

"I have to leave tomorrow night." He voice was raspy as he butted out his cigarette and rested his head against hers. Her fingers danced across his chest gently as he kissed the top of her head.

"How long will you be gone?" She asked worriedly. He smirked at her and kissed her forehead gently.

"Not to worry lass, we'll be back before sunup I promise." He assured her as she rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Alice had made only two mistakes that night.

The first was to trust Murphy when he told her not to worry, and the second was her decision to let Declan stay up to greet his daddy when he came through the door of old McGinty's pub.


	7. Whats done is done

Murphy leaned against the bar as he and his brother wiped down their guns and checked every moving part to make sure that they were prepared for their next battle.

"So tell me," Conner began as he wiped down the silencer for his beloved desert eagle. "Ave you an the lass made any plans yet." He smiled toward her sitting on the other end of the bar helping Declan with his homework. Murphy glanced behind him and chuckled as she cheered and clapped her hands for her baby boy.

"I'm so proud of you bear." She exclaimed as he slapped her an enthusiastic high five. Murphy turned back toward his brother and chuckled, going back to the work at hand with a smile.

"Nah, but I was thinking of something." He whispered and leaned closer to his brother. "I was thinking when were done here, I want to take her back to Ireland with us. Do something romantic ya know." Conner laughed loudly and shook his head.

"You've changed man." He smiled toward his brother and grabbed a rag from the bar to finish the task at hand.

"The fuck do you mean by that?" Murphy barked happily as he screwed in his silencer.

"Open yer fucking eyes man, or at least take them off of her for a second. You got it bad." Conner laughed.

"He has a p. lad." Doc smiled from the other side of the bar. He had been polishing his silverware quietly across the room and if he hadn't piped up Murphy would have nearly forgotten he was there. "There is n. like a beautiful woman to dist.t. a man from his w.." Doc grinned before going back to his little silver beauty's.

"Ah fuck the both of ya, what would you know." Murphy laughed as he took one last drag from his cigarette. No sooner had he butted it out did Detective Greenly stroll into the bar with a shit eating grin on his face.

"FUCKING SACK O MATIC!" He screamed happily grabbing at his junk and laughing at the boys. Alice laughed along with the brothers as Declan closed the book that sat in front of him. He waved over at the detective happily and turned to stand from his seat but the little boy's life was about to change forever.

Before anyone in the bar had a chance to register what had happened the sound of a shotgun boomed through the small room and ripped through Greenly's chest right where he stood. Declan let out an ear piercing scream as Alice grabbed him and pulled him around to the safety of the bar.

"GET HIM UPSTAIRS!" Murphy shouted toward her as he grabbed a shotgun from behind the bar. She covered her sons body with hers as bullets ripped through the wood behind them and embedded themselves into the wall behind them.

"I CANT!" She shouted as Declan cried into her chest. She grabbed his face in her hands and looked into her little boys scared eyes. "It's ok baby, just stay down and cover your ears ok." He nodded and put his head between his knees and closed his eyes tight, waiting for the noise to stop.

"ONE. TWO. THREE!" Conner shouted and the brothers stood quickly, taking aim at the little man who had wrapped himself around Doc.

"Put em down." He screamed as he tightened his grip on the old man's throat. "I KILL THE OLD MAN THROW DEM OVER!" He shouted as he dug the barrel of his gun into Doc's temple. The boys glared at the tiny man as he deliberated over which one to kill first. In his mind neither of them were walking out of the bar alive but he wanted to make sure to do it right.

"Which one you love more?" He sneered at Doc in a thick Italian accent. "Dis one?" He screamed. Before he had a chance to aim his gun the sound of a muffled gun shot rang out from across the room. The Italian dropped the gun and fell to his knees clutching his hand and screaming out in sheer agony.

As the Italians screams filled the air the brothers hopped over the bar quickly and ran to Greenly's side. They begged and pleaded with him to hold on but there is only so much a man can do when his chest has been ripped through. Greenly gasped his last breaths in the brothers arms as Alice poked her head around the bar to see what was happening. The brothers cried over there friends lifeless body and a man she hadn't recognized was standing before the bleeding Italian man with two guns in hand.

He loaded both of the guns with only a single bullet before spinning the chamber and handing one to his enemy. The brothers grabbed their weapons and stood, jamming them into the side of the smaller man's head.

"IM GONNA BLOW THIS MOTHER FUCKERS HEAD OFF RIGHT NOW!" Connor growled as the blood boiled in his veins.

"CONNOR!" The old man bellowed never taking his eyes of the seething Sicilian. "Daddy's working." He said softly knowing they would understand what that meant. Connor leaned into the small man and whispered.

"No matter how dis ends, you die tonight." He growled before dropping his weapon and falling to his knees. Murphy followed quickly and together they prayed harder than they had ever prayed for anything. Their fathers safety was all that mattered.

Noah and the little man went back and forth and it seemed to the brothers that the world itself had stopped spinning as they watched their fathers horrifying display. Their hearts raced in unison as the small man pulled the trigger. The held there breath as their father bellowed. "Where is he?" There was a pause as the small man shook where he stood.

"NO!" He screamed. Noah pulled the trigger to an empty barreled click. The brothers prayed harder as the little man pulled his own trigger. A look of disappointment crossed his face as he realized that Noah still stood.

"Where is he?" Noah bellowed once more. The small man shook and screamed something in Italian as Noah pulled the trigger and ended him where he stood. Alice cried out from behind the bar and the brothers sighed in relief as the standoff came to an end.

Murphy buried his head in his hands as their father lifted his head to the sky and closed his eyes. A prayer of thankfulness crossed through him, he still stood healthy and unharmed. Even though he hadn't gotten what he wanted from the tiny man, he lived and that was more than enough to be grateful for.

"DADDY!" Declan called out as he ran around the bar and past his mother. Alice grabbed for him but he squirmed past her and jumped into his father's arms. Murphy kissed the top of his head and held him tight to his chest as he rocked the sobbing boy back and forth in his arms. Noah looked toward his son with a look of confusion on his face. Alice ran to Murphy's side and wrapped her arms around her boys thankful that they were still alive and unharmed. Noah looked toward his son as he put his gun away.

"What's dis son?" Noah asked even though it didn't take him long to figure out what was going on. Over the last eight years Murphy had regaled his father with stories of Alice and his love for the girl back home. His son always had a knack for words so it wasn't hard to see that the lovely brunette stroking his hair was the girl who nearly destroyed him.

Murphy stood, his boy still cradled in his arms and smiled toward his father. "Da this is Declan." Murphy said shyly as the little boy turned to face the unfamiliar old man. He wrapped his other arm around Alice and pulled her forward.

"And dis must be Alice." Noah smiled at her taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles gently. "Is good ta finally meet ya lass." He smiled gently under his thick white beard before getting a good look at the silver ring on her finger. Declan wormed his way out of his father's arm and went to hide behind his mother, a favorite place of his whenever the boy was feeling anything but comfortable. Noah looked toward his son and quickly pulled him into his arms, gripping him tightly.

"I see a lot's changed since you boys came back." Noah smiled as he let his son go. He looked down to the frightened little boy. "Am I to assume dat dis is yer boy?" He asked Murphy as the boy met his eyes shyly.

"Aye." Murphy replied softly. Conner walked over to the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, the only thing that hadn't been shot in the fight. Noah's eyes darted between Alice and Declan unsure of what to say to either of them. For a moment he was reminded of his own past and his stomach grew heavy with guilt. Prison had separated him from his pregnant wife, a guilt he would never live to overcome.

Noah took one look at his son and smiled. "Tell me, do ya trust yer da?" He asked gently. Murphy chuckled lightly and smiled.

"A course da but.." Noah raises his hand to cut him off and shook his head. "Den ya trust me now son, Ye got no place finishen dis.

"What are ya saying?" Murphy asked as his brother came around with his newly acquired bottle of jack and four shot glasses.

"Ya da, what's goin on?" He asked a little confused as he placed them down on the table next to them.

"What I mean," Noah sighed looking toward Alice who was now coddling her little boy. "Murphy, ya got a son now ye can't be doin this."

"Da, I'm not leaving." Murphy chuckled.

"Don't ye go laughin about dis. I left yer mother when you two were still in her belly and I'll never forgive myself for not being there fer you boys. Yer not makin the same mistake as yer ol da." He barked at Murphy who stood stunned.

"Don argue with me son, take dem an get da hell out of ere."

"Da, I can't do that." Murphy barked. "I can't leave you ta do dis on yer own."

"DON'T YOU ARGUE!" Noah barked. Murphy was stunned, His father had never yelled at him before and he wasn't sure exactly how to react. "Yer a stubborn boy, but now's not the time for dat." He stated mater of factly. "Connor will stay here with me, you an yer family will be leaving tonight do ya hear me?"

Murphy stood stunned as Alice tried her best to contain her excited and relived smile.


	8. A mercy upon you

Murphy and Alice packed there things under Noah's watchful eye. He didn't want to leave his father, his brother not like this but a part of him new that his dad was right. If he stayed there was too great a chance he would either end up in jail or dead and he couldn't put his son through that no matter how much he wanted to be there and see things through to the end.

As Murphy rounded up the last of his things from the bedroom Alice sat nervously by Noah's side, unsure of whether to thank him for making them leave or talk him out of it. She knew how important this was to Murphy but selfishly she couldn't deny Murphy's importance to her.

"Noah, are you sure you don't want him to stay?" She asked sheepishly as he sipped on the warm cup of tea she had made him. He sighed heavily and placed his cup down on the dark wood coffee table.

"Aye lass. Der are many tings a father wants for his son, to die is not one of them." He stated roughly as he offered her a sweet smile.

"But what's to say he will die, maybe you'll make it out of this just fine." She begged quietly. Suggesting the man that she loved stay in a place where his every moment could be the last he ever experience was against everything that she felt in this one moment, but she wanted nothing more than for him to be happy. And seeing the pain of juggling between the saint and the man over the last few weeks was a pain she wanted to save him from.

Part of her knew that no matter how far they traveled the saint would never really leave him and it was only wishful thinking to hope that it someday would.

"Listen to me lass. Murphy is a lot like his ol man. I had a beautiful woman and two sons on da way when I chose dis life over dem. Dey never knew me and der will never be a day dat dis old man wont regret dat. I shoulda left when I had da chance." He patted her knee softly and smiled. "Tell me, as a mother don't ya want fer yer boy ta have da tings you never had?"

She nodded gently and smirked. "There's nothing more in the world I want then for Declan to grow up happy and knowing that his mother loves him. " He nodded and patted her knee once again.

"Den you understand why I'm forcing Murphy to take you two as far away from here as he can." There was a moment of silent understanding between them before Murphy silently quietly shuffled his way out of the bedroom and dropped his large black duffle bag at the end of the couch.

There were a lot of emotions flooding Murphy MacManus at that very moment. None of them bad but none of them inherently good either. He had wanted to take his family far away for as long as he knew that they existed but a part of him couldn't stomach that the decision was made for him and in less than a day. He may not have had the chance to know his dad as a child, but somehow now he knew that it was pointless to argue. His dad was right, he couldn't do to Declan what his father had regretted for so many years.

Noah looked up at his son. His eyes gleamed with a sadness that wasn't really a sadness at all but more a feeling of everlasting love and admiration. Noah had felt that this may be the last fight that he had in him but at least if things turned out for the worst, he had known his boys and if at all possible he was about to save another generation from the same mistake that had torn him up over all these years.

Declan came running out of his room excitedly and threw himself onto his mother's lap happily.

"Hey bear, did you finish packing?" She asked him as she wrapped her arms around the smiling boy.

"Yup." He smiled excitedly. "Where are we going?" He asked as he played with a loose lock of her hair. She brushed his bangs from his face and kissed him gently on the forehead. "Were going to Ireland bear. Do you know where that is?" She asked as a large smile crossed his face.

"That's where daddy's from." He nearly shouted. Murphy chuckled as his little boy looked over to him with eyes full of wonder and excitement. "Is Uncle Connor coming?" He asked looking back toward Alice.

"No baby. Uncle Connor and grandpa are staying here for a while." She smiled reassuringly. Noah reached under his shirt and pulled out the old familiar wooden crucifix that adorned his sons.

"Tell me Declan, do ya know what dis is?" He asked as he fiddled with the necklace. Declan grabbed the cross and turned it over in his hands.

"It's a cross, daddy wears one." Noah laughed softly.

"Das right, I made dem for my boys a long time ago."

"Is that why they look the same?" Declan asked curiously as he fiddled with the charm.

"Aye." Noah smiled happily at the little boys interest.

"Can you make me one?" Declan asked curiously. Noah smiled and for a moment he thought a tear would escape him. He never thought he would have the chance to get to know his boys but the good Lord had given him that and so much more. If these were the last days of his life, they would be good indeed.

"Aye, I'll do ya one better." He whispered as he pulled the necklace over his head and placed it around Declan's neck.

"Da are ya sure?" Murphy asked him softly as the little boy threw his arms around his grandfather's neck.

"Aye son, he'll be needing it more dan me I'm sure." Noah smiled as he pulled away from the little boy and stood to face his son. He placed his hands on Murphy's shoulders and nodded gently. "Dis old man has nothing left ta ask of da Lord." He smiled happily as he took his boy into a strong embrace. Murphy couldn't help it when the flood of tears escaped him, no matter how many times he told himself that this was the best thing for everyone that didn't mean that there would ever come a day that he wouldn't miss everything he had done for the cold streets of Boston.

***10 years later***

Time had passed quickly as it was one to do when the pangs of worry dig there claws into a man. He had gotten the news sometime back of his father's death and his brother's arrest but somehow things had managed to shift in his favor and not only was his father's body released to an unnamed Irish affiliate his brother had managed to free himself from the Hoag. Connor never would say who it was that got him out from behind the bars of his jail cell and Murphy sometimes wondered if he even really knew for sure.

They had buried there dad on the top of a hill under an old Willow tree not far from there little cottage. Not a day passed that Alice didn't find one if not both of her boys standing next to it offering their prayers. Life for her and her boys had become one of simplicity and grace. Sundays spent at church helping out wherever they could, weekdays spent tending to the sheep. The last ten years had been kind to the little Irish family and there really was nothing more that either Murphy or she could ask for.

Murphy sat on the porch of their little family home enjoying the sun set over a long day's work as Declan came running up the pasture toward home. He was the spitting image of his father, barely a man himself and Murphy chuckled to himself as Declan shouted and smiled at his sister who ran close behind him.

Unlike Declan the little girl had her mother's brilliant green eyes and locks of beautiful chestnut hair that she insisted were best kept in low hanging pigtails. Alice gave birth to her exactly nine months after their arrival in Ireland and ever since Murphy had welcomed his daughter into the world she had him wrapped around her tiny little finger. She was a daddy's girl and there was nothing in the world that would stop him from giving the beautiful little girl everything she wanted.

She came running up the front steps of the cottage quickly and jumped into her father's lap. "Declan's goanna kill me!" She nearly shouted in a thick Irish accent. Murphy laughed loudly and looked into her tiny scared face.

"Now why would he go an do a thing like dat?" He chuckled as Declan hopped up the last step and leaned against the banister.

"Dis little shit's been feeding da coyotes." He breathed heavily and pointed toward his sister. Murphy eyed his son carefully.

"Watch yer mouth, ye know das no way to talk to yer sister."

"Aye dad, Sorry Penny I love ya but yer still a little shit." He chuckled as he pinched her arm gently. She smacked his hand away and stuck her tongue out at her brother.

"What's this about feeding coyotes?" Murphy asked his daughter sternly. She lowered her eyes and began to fiddle with one of the silver buttons on her overalls.

"Der jus baby's da, I can't let em starve." She exclaimed. Murphy nodded and patted her back gently.

"Aye Penny, ye got a good heart in ya but sometimes der are tings ye jus cant meddle wit." He spoke softly to his little girl who looked as though she was about to cry.

"But da," She pleaded. "Der just wee little tings, they got no mamma to care for em." Murphy chuckled lightly.

"Yew know what yer problem is Penny, ye take after yer mum too much. Aright ye can care for da pups but mind ye don't get too close to em. Der still wild after all." Penny's eyes lit up as she threw her arms around her father's neck and squeezed him tightly.

"Oh, thank ye da!" She cried into his neck. He patted her back gently and smiled as she jumped off of his lap and ran into the house to tell her mum and Uncle Conner all about it. Declan dropped himself onto the tiny bench next to his dad and sighed.

"Why do ya let her do things like that? Ya know were jus goanna end up killin em when they get big enough to go after da sheep." He raised his eyebrow toward his dad and leaned back against the railing that wrapped and twisted around the porch.

"Aye, but she won't know dat. In her mind dell be pups forever." Murphy sighed as he turned toward his son. Declan smiled and nodded. Murphy was hot headed when he was young and Declan was no exception to that when it came to taking after him. He had a knack for not really thinking things through and coming to the worst possible conclusions but Murphy would be damned if he trained his son to think otherwise. It was that kind of thinking that made Murphy a saint and there was not a moment he would ever come to regret that decision. Murphy wasn't the type of man to believe in fate but something about how it all played out made it hard to ignore the possibility.

That night after dinner the family washed up and turned in early. There was a lot to do in the morning and one of their flock was about to give birth so that meant all hands on deck until that little guy or gal popped out to greet the world.

The family slept happily and unaware as something dark and unwelcome crept onto the boundaries of their little home. Murphy wrapped himself around his sleeping angel; Conner lovingly fondled a bottle of whiskey as he snored. Declan somehow had managed to fall asleep to the sounds of his IPod loud enough to blow out his ear drums and Penny woke, as she always did in the middle of the night to grab herself a glass of water.

She walked down the hallway and rubbed her eyes as she turned the corner into the little kitchen. Unfortunately for her she was too tired to notice the man standing in the doorway and too tired to notice the gun in his hand. She grabbed her glass from the counter and filled it quietly, hoping not to wake anyone and sipped it gingerly before stepping down from her pink stool and moving it back in front of the stove where it belonged.

The glass fell from her tiny hands and shattered on the floor, thankfully for her the noise was just enough to rouse her father who shot awake and sat straight up in bed.

"What is it baby?" Alice murmured at her husband's sudden reaction. He shook his head and climbed out of bed slowly and quietly. He reached into the small table next to his bed and pulled out his desert eagle, locked and loaded always ready for a fight. No matter how much time had passed there would always be a little saint in Murphy MacManus. He crept out of the room slowly and peeked around the corner. He knew it was probably nothing but a man couldn't be too safe when it came to matters of his family.

As he rounded the corner into the kitchen his heart stopped and his gun went up into a quick aim.

"LET HER GO!" He shouted toward the masked man. A figure dressed in black pressed the cold metal pistol into the little girl's temple as she sobbed gently. He shook his head and chuckled as Murphy cocked his gun, ready to fire.

"Murphy!" Alice called from behind him. He turned quickly to see his wife's terrified face as another larger masked man walked her out of their bedroom, a knife held tightly to her throat. Tears flooded down her cheeks as the man tightened his grip on her arm, pinning it behind her and nearly ripping it out of it socket. She cried out as the knife dug into her skin just enough to draw blood.

Murphy's heart pounded in his chest as the masked men taunted him.

"So Murphy MacManus," The man holding his crying daughter began in a pleased tone of voice. He gently brushed Penny's long chestnut hair to the side as her tiny body shook with fear. "I've come a long way to find you."

"Who da fuck are you?" He shouted, never taking his gun off of the unknown man.

"Oh I wouldn't expect you to know who I am." He spoke. Murphy could detect a slight Russian accent behind the thick wool mask. "The point here is that I know who you are, and your fucking lucky you're getting this much of a mercy from me you son of a bitch."

"MERCY!" Murphy repeated. "What da fuck about dis would you call a mercy?" He shouted toward the intruder, his gun shaking in his hand.

"I DIDN'T GET ANY SAY IN WEATHER MY FATHER DIED! BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR FUCKING BROTHER MY FATHER IS GONE." He shouted as he took the gun from Penny's head and aimed it toward Murphy. "Two years after you ASSHOLES gunned him down my mum killed herself and that's on your mother fucking head!" He screamed viciously. "This is my mercy to you, you son of a bitch. I won't kill you but I won't leave without taking something that you love like you took the only thing I ever loved from me." He growled as he returned the gun to Penny's frightened head. "I'm letting you decide," He looked down toward Penny. "Which is it Mr. MacManus, your wife or your daughter?" Stunned Murphy said nothing as the world around him stopped spinning and his heart sank to the floor.


	9. Mercy and justice

**A/N yes I rewrote the second movie, yes the cottage is two stories in my mind. I like it that way, just bear with me. **

Conner stumbled into the kitchen brandishing his own weapon ready to fight. He was greeted with a sight no man would ever wish on even his worst enemy. Penny stood frightened under the grip of a gun, Alice pleading for her baby's life from behind a shaken and stunned Murphy. For once in his life Connor had run out of words, no ideas as to how to escape this nightmare would dare cross his mind.

"I don't know who da fuck you are and I don't know what da fuck you want," He began as he inched his way around the corner and aimed his gun toward the man that held his niece captive.

"You must be Conner." He growled as the saint moved to stand by his brother's side.

"Please don't do this." Murphy begged, tears flowing from his eyes like rivers. His angels, his two beautiful angels were beyond his reach and no matter how he racked his brain he couldn't make this right.

"Shut the FUCK up!" The masked man screamed. "Just be thankful you have the fucking chance to even beg for their lives. I didn't even get that you self-centered son of a bitch." He glowered from behind the cloth that hid his face.

"Murphy." Alice called gently from behind him. He turned quickly and gazed at her perfectly serene face. Seeing her in this moment, exposed to a world he never wanted her to see, paying for sins she never committed it was too much for him to handle as he fell to his knees and sobbed into his clenched fists. She struggled gently against her captor but he merely steadied her with the threat of his blade. "Murphy, baby you know who you are." She smiled at him as best she could before turning her eyes to her daughter that stood on the other side of the room. She smiled at her baby girl and relaxed in the masked man's grip. "I love you Penny. Murphy," She called again. He looked up at her, his face twisted with pain and grief. He already knew what she was about to say but he didn't want to hear it not now, not ever. "Don't let them hurt my baby." She cried to the man who sat helplessly on his knees.

"No!" he called out. "No I can't." It was all he could choke out before he lost his words.

"I love you Murphy." She cried out softly as he stood and took her face in his hands. He kissed her deeply between his sobs, he could taste the tears on her lips but all he wanted was to remember this moment as he took in the feel of her skin, the taste of her lips and the smell of her breath.

"No please," He begged as he held her face between his hands. "I love you, please," He begged not to her, but to the man behind them, aiming his gun in her direction. He nodded to his partner who quickly and effortlessly pushed Murphy to his knees and stepped away from Alice. Murphy reached out for her as she smiled at him, their fingers nearly touching as the sound of the gun rang through the house shocking Declan from his bed.

He tore down the stairs just in time to see the two men running through the front door, his sister screaming from their arms.

"NO!" Murphy screamed from below him. Declan looked down to see his father crawling to Alice's side.

"MOM!" Declan screamed as he jumped over the banister and ran to her side. Conner ran past the grieving family and out the front door after his niece. It was a long shot that he would catch up with them but he had to do something.

Murphy lifted his dying angel into his arms and cried out. "NO! no no." he repeated the words over and over as he wiped the blood from her face and looked into her deep green eyes. Tears poured from him like water from a floodgate, watching her smiling face as she tried to speak.

"Don't….don't worry about me." She whispered reaching up to cup his face with her soft hand. He kissed her palm gently as he held her tight to him.

"Mom hang on." Declan cried as he jumped up and ran toward the phone that hung from the other side of the wall.

"I'll b.. f..." She smiled at him through the pain. Murphy had taken his fair share of bullets in his time as a saint and he wished like hell he could take the pain he knew too well away from her. He leaned down and kissed her gently before resting his forehead on hers.

"I love you, so much." He cried into her as she wrapped her fingers in his beautiful dark hair. "Please don't leave me." He begged through his tears.

"Find my baby." She whispered as she gripped at his hair tightly before her fingers released and her body went limp under his own. Murphy pulled her into him and gripped tightly as he silently screamed into her shoulder. Declan hung up the phone and raced back into the hallway to see his father rocking his mother's lifeless body in his arms. He knew in a single moment that his call to the police was too little too late and no matter how much he wanted for someone to burst through that door and save her precious life, his chance had come and gone.

"Oh God." He sobbed dropping to his knees. Murphy tightened his grip and somehow his voice seemed to find him as he screamed into the lifeless body of his fallen angel.

"Oh Jesus no." Conner gasped as he ran through the door and threw himself to his knees at his brother's side. He placed his hand gently on the back of Murphy's head as he screamed into her again and again.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" his muffled cry broke the dark dense air of the house. Conner leaned back and ran his hands over his face as his own cries broke through the hardened saint.

There were no words that could describe the pain and grief that filled the little cottage that night and there were no words in any language that could serve as a comfort to Murphy and his son. If it hadn't been for the need to explain to the police what had happened on that grizzly night no words would have been spoken between the three and as they placed her beautiful body to rest in a grave dug next to Noah's a somber silence continued to encompass what was left of the broken and destroyed family.

The night after they laid her to rest the boys ate quietly at the small wooden table, no one wanting to speak no one having anything to say except for Declan. He had taken after his father in a lot of ways and his need for justice, his need for revenge seeped through every pore. Seven days of silence were broken with the utterance of one simple sentence.

"We have to find her." Declan said sternly as he stared into his bowl. Murphy and Connor looked to each other unsure of what to say. At one time it was obvious what it was that needed to be done but Murphy wouldn't even hear of his son following that closely in his footsteps.

"Da police will bring her home." Was all he said as he pushed his bowl away from him and began to roll himself a cigarette.

"Dats a load of horseshit da." Declan exclaimed as he pushed his own bowl away and stared deeply into his fathers pained face.

"Ye don't know what yer talking about Declan, just leave it alone." Murphy barked at his boy from across the table.

"Leave it alone!" He exclaimed. "The fuck do ye mean leave it alone?"

"Declan, listen to yer dad he knows shit aright." Conner piped up as gently as he could.

"He knows shit, aright I get it so we just sit here an wait for some fucking miracle to bring Penny back." Declan was almost shouting now. He wasn't the kind of boy to just sit by and let things happen on their own and he, like his father wasn't the kind of man to let his mother's death go unanswered.

"Declan, ye have ta trust me." His dad spoke sternly as he took a large pull from his cigarette filling the room with its sickly sweet scent.

"I do trust ya da, I just don trust them." Declan barked. "Jesus fuck man are you a saint or aren't ya?" He shouted toward his father who was now wide eyed and stunned. He had hoped that Declan would forget about that, hoped that the memories of what once were lie dead and buried.

"Don't you talk to me dat way!" Murphy barked standing from his seat.

"I'm sorry da, I mean no disrespect but I can't believe dis shit. What happened to you two? What happen to the men dat would take this kinda shit into der own hands? You can't tell me you don't get it da." Declan pleaded. He wanted to do something, had to do something to fix this. Murphy looked toward his brother and smirked.

"He sounds a lot like ye doesn't he." Conner chuckled as Murphy shook his head.

"Aye." Murphy replied with a slight smirk. In this moment around there little slice of home Murphy, if he didn't know better would have sworn he was watching himself all over again. He knew what this meant for his son and even more what this meant for him. Declan would go with or without them but he couldn't do it alone. Unfortunately the boy was too stubborn to realize that.

"Aright den." Murphy muttered as he butted out his cigarette. "Ye sure you want to do dis?" He asked sternly. Declan chuckled and ran his hands through his hair as he leaned back in his chair.

"Mom's dead. Penny's missing. What else is der ta do? Sit here and hope dat the police find her before she ends up in a ditch?" Declan stood on his chair and grabbed at his crotch before screaming. "Or grow a fucking pair and kill da mother fuckers that did this to us?" Murphy laughed loudly at his son's enthusiasm as Declan sank back into his chair. "Come on da, how many sick mother fuckers did you take out fer hurting people ya hardly knew? They came after you dis time; they brought the fucking fight to us now don't ya think that's worth fucking something?"

Murphy nodded his head as his son regaled them with his powerful and passionate speech. He was right and Murphy was proud that his boy would choose justice over life, proud that his boy would make the same decision he had once made for all the right reasons. He looked to his brother and smiled.

"Destroy that which is evil," He started, Conner smiled at him excitedly.

"So dat that which is good may flourish." The three of them finished in unison.

"Right," Murphy spoke as he stood from his seat. "Let's fucking do this." He grinned at his son who looked more excited than a man about to go on a good old fashioned killing spree should be.

"ALRIGHT BABY WE'RE BACK IN BUISNESS!" Conner cried out happily as he raised his hands to the sky.


End file.
